This is not the sexiest blog post that I have ever written, but I firmly believe that it could be one of the most profound and powerful. Practice was never something I was good at, or something I wanted to be good at. When I was in grade school I was naturally gifted at learning new concepts easily; I did not need to study. This trend continued through my high school years. I graduated in the top third of my senior class without having to study, or “practice” much. Everyone around me, including me, seemed satisfied with this level of performance so the bad habit of “not practicing” was integrated into my life.

College presented the first experiences where my deficiency for knowing how to practice was fully exposed. Where A’s and B’s came easily in high school, C’s became the norm in college with a few dropped classes here and there. If I could not make at least a C by just “showing up” and completing most… of the assignments I would just drop the class. This behavior is why I often make the joke that I crammed a two year associates degree into four years. That was a direct result of my lack of practice.

Years later I would return to college to complete my bachelors degree and then my MBA. I made all A’s and a single B during that period while working a full time job and raising three teenagers with my wife. What was the difference from my performance when I first attended college after high school? Yes I was older, more responsible and I took it more seriously, but I think the biggest factor was that I had learned how to “practice.” I did more than simply complete the assignments and study a few minutes before the tests. I practiced the concepts. I spent hours and hours -and hours working out calculations in my finance classes, studying concepts in economics and I even endured the torture of learning advanced statistics for business. The end result was not only A’s in the classes, but I also truly understood the concepts and have been able to integrate them into my base of knowledge in order to become a more well rounded professional.

Practice makes us better. Recently I have been given opportunities for training to enhance my executive leadership skills. I quickly learned that I would only get out of the training what I was willing to invest into it. I could not sit in a conference room for a week and become a better leader through osmosis. If I wanted to grow I would have to practice new activities and new ways of thinking about things. I would have to invest the time in processing what I was learning about myself and then practice changing the ways I respond to situations based on those new insights. For meaningful growth to happen, I would have to continue practicing a lot of new things. My “daily practices” quickly became very important to me and a part of my personal development plan. I kept finding myself coming back to this word again and again, “practice.”

Practice makes us better at whatever we are practicing, whether it is academics, athletics, leadership, business skills, home improvement skills, the arts, relationships, desired behaviors and almost anything else. I recently start taking Aikido classes. It is a very humbling experience to be the new person in the room. I watched as other students completed movements; they made it look so easy. At times it almost seemed magical as I watched their bodies roll effortlessly or as they would instantly spring back up on their feet after being tossed to the mat. In the midst of my frustration and deepened sense of humility I finally asked one fellow student, “How are you doing that?” The response was simple and straight forward, “I’ve practiced that technique at least a thousand times. You will be able to do it too, -after you have practiced it a thousand times or so.”

Inversely, I have also found that practicing unwanted behaviors causes a similar phenomenon. Allowing myself to practice an unwanted behavior increases the possibility of my continuing that unwanted habit. For example, if I skip going for a run on one day, it will be easier to skip running the next day. If I make a poor eating decision at one meal, it will be easier to make a poor decision at the next. If I allow myself to continually practice an unwanted behavior, it will become easier to practice it again and again. I might even become “better” at it.

What am I practicing? This is a simple but powerful question that I am learning to ask myself on a daily basis. I think of it like a savings account. Are the things that I am practicing adding value to my life (and those around me) or are my actions depleting the balance -taking away from my life? I do not necessarily see it as “good and bad” or “right and wrong.” I view it through the lens of, “Are the things I am practicing turning me into the person who I want to become?” Asking that question and then answering it honestly has helped me make better choices about what I practice on a daily basis.

How do I become a better husband, father, friend, mentor, professional? More importantly, how do I become the person that I want to be? I have a long term goal of running a marathon in under four hours. This goal has motivated me to go running 3 to 4 times per week and make changes to my diet in order to reduce my body weight. Any substantive goal that we have in our lives should prompt us to take on practices that steer us towards that goal. Whether or not we are actively doing these practices gives us immediate feedback in regard to if we are moving towards, or away from, our goal. So for example, I can look at what I practiced over the past week and know if I made progress towards running a marathon in under four hours.

What should I be practicing? This question is actually answered by answering another question, “Who do I want to be?” or “How do I want to grow?” If I want to be a person who can run a marathon in under 4 hours, I know there are basic practices that I must do like, run at least 3 or 4 times per week while gradually increasing my weekly mileage and eating more healthy to reasonably decrease my body weight. If I want to be a better father I should ask, “What daily practices would support me in becoming a better father?” If I want to be a better leader I should ask, “What practices would support me in becoming a better leader?” I have found that once I start asking these questions and sincerely seeking the answers, the answers tend to come fairly easy. More directed questions might even be, “What kind of father do I want to be?” and ”What kind of leader do I want to be?” Again, the answers to these questions help me identify my daily practices -and the practices that should be prioritized. The answers are there to be found -if we are brave enough to ask the right questions.

We are all practicing something. Every single day we are practicing something. Our practices might be intentional or unintentional. They might be leading us exactly where we want to go in life or they could be perpetuating a life that we are not satisfied with. Regardless of the outcomes, the reality is we are all practicing something. It is a powerful phenomenon that shapes who we are becoming on a continual basis. -And we have the ability to harness this power and leverage it to transform our lives in radical ways.

“The bridge between knowledge and skill is practice, the bridge between skill and mastery is time.” -Jim Bouchard